Last January I left Philippines for the purpose of finding myself a.k.a. soul searching. I only had initial plan of staying up to 2 months just right for the wedding of one of my closest friends. Now, stuck in Chiang Mai, I started thinking to live one day at a time and to stop thinking about this trip as a travel.
Traveling has its ups and downs. Traveling is no fun and exciting when you travel indefinitely (at least for me). For a few weeks, yes, but when you’re 2 or 3 months on the road. Nah… Its no longer fun doing selfies, eating out alone, walking strolling pass by friends and group of people. Now, I want to own myself and stop being owned by my thoughts. One of the amazing things I learn during my meditation retreat is to be present, enjoy, and let go of the things you cant control.
Last week, I sent a video greeting as a present to a lovely bride. Its the least I could do. Few days before that, I was hit by homesickness. It was awful bed weather days. I had long nights thinking what I have been doing with my life. Should I fly back to my country? to my home? Should I be moving to the next city? A friend of mine has said, “You’re missing home, and if you want my advice… you need a break and you can continue on your journey anytime.” Believe me, I almost flew back home. Should I? I started thinking, if I will go home then what will happen? I am close to living my dream traveling the countries of South East Asia and just 1 homesickness I will call it quits? If Im gonna go home, what will I do then? To wake up everyday happy because Im back and started reminiscing the days I was on the road. I was able to meet people from different countries, eating new foods, chatting, and close to speaking the local language?
After reading some blogs and talking to friends, I realized, it is normal to be homesick, to miss home, to miss friends, to miss the family. Home has been part of us. It has made us of what we are. It has mold us to be who we are today. Everyone suffers but not everyone got over it. Now, which road should I take?
Today, I decided to own it, to own my feelings and to own my happiness. It was difficult, yes, but I wanted to get up and do something about it. Today, I decided to move forward to this journey. To see and experience the adventure I have been dreaming. To meet people and to step on to another culture and hopefully to move on to my new chapter. Today, I decided of not coming home soon. Well Im coming home but I chose a little detour and to take the longer road back home.
This post goes to all friends who have been in the same journey of self awareness, dreams, and on their career goals. This goes to all people who suffered but strived to go further not because everybody expects them to but because they feel the need to and wanted to do it. This goes to all people who owned it and not stopping anytime soon because its the best feeling everyone could ever had!